"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley
Sometimes, I do feel like living in denial. Avoiding people, staying alone in my bedroom and do anything I please. I often think that the time I am alone is the most precious time in my whole 24 hours (figuratively hehe). I RARELY going out with friends. In fact, I havent going out with anyone for like 3 MONTHS except my BF, and Kak Nurul; a Beautiful yet a very Humble lady.
I can easily list down some reasons why I...dont really like (???) going out with friends, or even meeting them makes me feel quite uncomfortable.
- I have problems with trust, noise,etc..etc
- I have an issue with "A" and "B" words
- I dont feel comfortable when people asking me about my background, what do I like, Why I hate this and why I hate that, Why I choose this instead of that and so on and so forth whatever....
- Simply couldnt stand people asking me to do this and that (but I never say I dont like it, cause most of the time I just LEAVE it...-sort of anti-climax kind of person, try d best to avoid DRAMAS?)
- and..... I am afraid of being hurt by these people.
I wont deny if someone accuses me for being hot-tempered, self-centred, selfish, stone head, no sense of humour, boring, not attractive, weirdo etc etc, but... I have my own reasons for being this way. And if they say that the reasons I often being hurt is that its just me who's oversensitive, I guess maybe thats right too.
So, maybe being alone is the best decision that I have ever made. I ll never ever get hurt by reading books, watching movies, listening to songs and writing, so it suits me best.
Hurm, so back on track, as referred to above quotation that I found somewhere... after cracking my head trying to make sense of it, I guess Mr Marley IS right!
Why do I have to get hurt when people just stop looking at me? Why do I have to cry every time people say bad things about me? Why do I have to avoid people who hate me when they are the one who should have avoided me because it isnt me who have problems seeing my own face at the first place! It's not worth it, right?? I mean, do I really have to endure all the sufferings and cry each time shit happens in my life while my "enemy(ies)" enjoy/s laughing at me?
I am not gonna let it happens anymore. I swear!
XD
BUT!!
I enjoy every moment I am alone. I enjoy when nobodys talking to me. The fact that I am alone has nothing to do with me runaway from problems, its just that, well, I am not really into dramatic life, so.....guess spending my time alone in peace is all that Im hoping for...
I LOVE MYSELF, MY FAMILY, and....MY LIFE...<3
Allah bless us All...Amiin :D:D:D
0 comments:
Post a Comment